Sunday, June 5, 2011

The big Break-Up!!!

Hello to anyone reading this.  Its been 5 months since I last posted a blog.  So let me get to the point.  I was in a relationship with a woman...for 6 long years.  And since my last post, we have broken up.  Being with someone----almost day in and day out for 2,190 days---is a long ass time.  And it was hard.  The break up was hard.  Adjusting to being single was hard.  Not seeing this woman every day was hard.  Breaking up is a hard thing to do. 


Even when you know that you are with the wrong person.  Even when you know you and your partner have not been seeing eye to eye for years.  Even when you are no longer intimate with the person.  Even when you cant see a future with that person.  Breaking up is just a hard thing to do.  Its an experience that forces you to be independent, strong, and constantly evaluating yourself. 

When I broke up with my ex....it was an ending poing and a starting point for me.  I was closing a chapter in my life that lasted for quite some time.  I not only had to separate from her, but from her family, a place I called home, friends that we made together, places that we frequented together.  It was a huge separation!!!! 

But I was also forced to learn how to be alone again.  I was forced to learn to be independent---make my own decision without the help of my girlfriend.  When I experienced a happy moment, I had to soak it up by myself.  I couldnt call her anymore--as I was used to doing for 6 years.  When I experienced a sad or trying moment, I had to deal with it the best way I knew how.  I couldnt call her and have her give me great advice or make it all better.  I had to learn to love myself all over again.  I had to learn to do things as a single.  I had to learn to think as a single person. No more grocery shopping for the things I love and the things I hated that she loved. 

So, of course---its so easy for me to talk about this now that I have been out of that relationship for some months now.  Before, I wouldnt have been able to do it.  I was sad knowing that I wouldnt be able to see her everyday; sleep with her every night; do the things that I had been accustomed to doing with her for all those years.  That was the hardest part for me.  Letting go of the familiar.  So....I had to get used to uncharted territory----developing new habits, getting to know new people, living in a new place, all things new. 

So, I guess the only way to end this is to say that I have adjusted quite nicely to life without my ex and I am a better person for it.

3 comments:

  1. I am sure you will do well..
    It's only the initial stages which seem to be like the worst phase of life. But you have come out of it partially atleast.

    I've been there done that, my ex was a bi-sexual, and almost immediately after our breakup I saw her hanging out with guys, it was extremely painful.
    But I lived...

    Live on

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  2. Yeah, I am doing much better. And I thank God for the strength to make the decision to leave that relationship.

    Thank you for the encouragement.

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  3. I broke up with my girlfriend too. We decided to let it go.

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