Sunday, January 9, 2011

Need for Change in 2011

I am feeling salty for a couple of reasons.  I had a minor 'thing' with my girlfriend's mom--a woman who I love and admire and respect.  I just had a heart to heart with my bestfriend---our relationship has been strained and very different since the birth of her daughter (2 years ago).  I texted the ex-bestfriend because she texted me a comment that I wasn't too happy about.  So, I was sick as shit last week and I was unhappy about that.  I didn't want to start the New Year with a bad cold and feeling under the weather.  But hey, what the hell could I do about it.  I had to let the damn cold run its course and pray for it to be over a.s.a.p. 

So I am kind of dreading this week.  Last week was long, cold, and miserable.  I feel funny about my jobs...and yes, I have jobs. I am ALL about doing whatever I have to do to keep my head above water and my bills paid.  Last year was a tough ass year and I want this year to be better.  While it would be ideal to have 1 full-time job that pays me nice money, that isn't the case.  I am working 2 pt jobs Monday through Thur.  I work the 1 pt job on Friday, and then I teach on Saturdays.  I am young and this should be a breeze, but this shit is wearing me out.  I feel like my faith is constantly being tested and my trials are constant.

Anyway, all of this is teaching me that I have to CHANGE.  Period, point blank.  Meluniquie NEEDS to change herself if she wants her situation to change. 

Now, that last paragraph is very profound--for me, anyway. Can I just say as EASY as it was to type those 25 or so words, putting that into motion is seemingly impossible.  I am stuck in my own ways, stuck in my day-to-day patterns, stuck in my own shit.  Change is the hardest thing I will ever have to do.  And I guess if I want some good fortune and success in my 26th year on this earth, CHANGE IS IMMINENT. 

So, I guess I will have to map out a plausible and realistic plan for CHANGE.  I didn't even make any New Year's Resolutions for the past 2 years.  I just knew that I wasn't going to stick to anything.  So, now I have to make some New Life Resolutions and find a way to stick to them.  Y'all pray for me!!! Because I am going to need it. 

2 comments:

  1. hey i really hope and pray that this year goes much-much better for you. I admire that u manage your "jobs" and keep up with everything else...these lines might help you a bit "shit happens all u need to do is, know how to clean it up".. :P

    and yeah i think its better to have new life resolutions rather than new year resolutions!!...this post of yours inspired me too..but i'm such a lazy ass!..hmm i need to change that first i guess!

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  2. Now that the year is at its very end, I wonder what your feelings exactly are..

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