I am feeling salty for a couple of reasons. I had a minor 'thing' with my girlfriend's mom--a woman who I love and admire and respect. I just had a heart to heart with my bestfriend---our relationship has been strained and very different since the birth of her daughter (2 years ago). I texted the ex-bestfriend because she texted me a comment that I wasn't too happy about. So, I was sick as shit last week and I was unhappy about that. I didn't want to start the New Year with a bad cold and feeling under the weather. But hey, what the hell could I do about it. I had to let the damn cold run its course and pray for it to be over a.s.a.p.
So I am kind of dreading this week. Last week was long, cold, and miserable. I feel funny about my jobs...and yes, I have jobs. I am ALL about doing whatever I have to do to keep my head above water and my bills paid. Last year was a tough ass year and I want this year to be better. While it would be ideal to have 1 full-time job that pays me nice money, that isn't the case. I am working 2 pt jobs Monday through Thur. I work the 1 pt job on Friday, and then I teach on Saturdays. I am young and this should be a breeze, but this shit is wearing me out. I feel like my faith is constantly being tested and my trials are constant.
Anyway, all of this is teaching me that I have to CHANGE. Period, point blank. Meluniquie NEEDS to change herself if she wants her situation to change.
Now, that last paragraph is very profound--for me, anyway. Can I just say as EASY as it was to type those 25 or so words, putting that into motion is seemingly impossible. I am stuck in my own ways, stuck in my day-to-day patterns, stuck in my own shit. Change is the hardest thing I will ever have to do. And I guess if I want some good fortune and success in my 26th year on this earth, CHANGE IS IMMINENT.
So, I guess I will have to map out a plausible and realistic plan for CHANGE. I didn't even make any New Year's Resolutions for the past 2 years. I just knew that I wasn't going to stick to anything. So, now I have to make some New Life Resolutions and find a way to stick to them. Y'all pray for me!!! Because I am going to need it.